


Brokeback Space Mountain

by LyingTurtle



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Denial, M/M, Manipulation, Unsafe Sex, a bored Jacobi is a dangerous one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 08:51:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9540467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingTurtle/pseuds/LyingTurtle
Summary: Doug Eiffel has absolutely no intention of sleeping with his evil coworker, none at all, nope, zero, nada.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Started after the thought of "What if Jacobi just went on a sex rampage?" and while this may not be very rampage-eqsue, I like to think he's internally feeling like a man on a mission. Also can you tell I haven't written in third person since forever ago?

“You can't be serious”

“Do I look like I'm joking?”

“... Yes” Eiffel stared down evil space villain model two, both his hands preoccupied with wiring but his eyes were completely on the other man.  Jacobi just sighed and clipped a piece of copper, shaking his head.

“I'm just saying, you've been here for years, that's got to be boring”

“See, most people do a puzzle when they get bored, not offer to sleep with your co worker”

“Pfft” Jacobi grinned and shook his head, “We aren't coworkers”

“Fine, they don't offer to sleep with their awkward space neighbors”

“You're blowing this out of proportion”

“I'm blowing this an appropriate amount!” Jacobi raised an eyebrow in his direction, “You know what I mean!” Eiffel pointed harshly in his direction.  He still hovered in the doorway, wondering if running away was a valid option.  Of course is Kepler found him he'd have to explain why he wasn't at his assignment.  How would the colonel even react if he told him what his second in command had propositioned him?  That was a decent question actually.

“Look, if you don't want to, fine.  But you really would be missing out.  There's like, what, two women who could beat you to a pulp, a doctor who would take any opportunity to put a needle in you, Maxwell- which you have a few too many organs and not enough processors to even try with, and then  _ Kepler _ .  So I don't know where exactly these options you have are coming from” he shrugged like it was the most casual thing in the world to run through the fuckability of the entire crew.

“And you aren't afraid of your boss finding out?” Eiffel snaps, like he's found the tipping point in this house of cards.

“Why would he find out?” Jacobi questions honestly.

“Because he's… Magic?”

“I wouldn't tell him, and I assume you wouldn't either.  So how would he know”

“You're able to keep secrets from your boss?” Jacobi rolled out his shoulders and sat up straight, taking on a voice like he was pretending to have a conversation with the colonel.

“Hello sir, you wanted to see me?  A rumor about me and officer Eiffel?  No sir nothing that's impeded my work.  The nature of our relationship?  I'm afraid there's nothing to tell, would that be all?  Great, I'll report back to maintenance then” he looked to Eiffel, waiting to be congratulated for an Oscar worthy performance.

“You lie to him often?”

“I didn't lie, and I'm just asking you if you want to make endless hours of intense work detail and torturous boredom a little less horrifying”

“I don't!”

“Because you're scared of Kepler?”

“Because you just shouldn't!  Do I need more of a reason!  Besides, it's not like you're out of options” Eiffel hands him the screw driver that Jacobi pointed to, lying near his feet.  The brief hand off, tips of fingers brushing his hand, it all felt too intimate now.  He quickly regained his position at the farthest point away from him.

“Eh, yeah you're right”

“What?”

“I do have other options”

“Oh as if, who?”

“People, I guess” he shrugged, as if he was suddenly too uncaring to pursue the conversation farther.  That infuriated Eiffel to no end.   _ He _ was the one that was supposed to not care.

“Well Minkowski is off the list”

“Because she's married?”

“Because she's Minkowski!”

“How about Lovelace?”

“Pretty sure she could and would strangle you to death.  You'd have a better chance with Hilbert if anything”

“No, I have this policy about sleeping with people who give others diseases”

“You and Maxwell are pretty close”

“Again, I'm a little bit too much flesh for her liking”

“What about Kepler?  You two spend an awful lot of time together” he says it joking, arms crossed like he just dropped the mic.  Jacobi was on his knees, halfway inside a terminal of some kind, but still there was that hesitation and slight change in voice.

“No” working harder, looking intensely at the machinery, taking every precaution to look extremely focused and preoccupied from answering.  Eiffel saw through it in a second, seeing as how he was probably the only person on the ship that wasn't some crazy genius with social ineptitude leading the forefront of personality.

“Holy shit, you and  _ Kepler _ ?”

“We are  _ not _ !” He protests heatedly.

“Well now that just makes worlds of sense.  But why would you want to sleep with me if you're into him?”

“I am not into him!”

“You sound into him”

“Well you sound like an idiot”

“Woah there, let's keep this G- rated”

“Look” he put down the tools and got out of his work to sit up and look at the man who was currently pissing him off to no end.  “I'm trying to ask you if you want to fuck.  I'm not looking for some knee deep emotional trenches, or a weird shipboard romance, or even a weird obligatory birthday present.  Just you, me, my bunk, no secret plots or strings attached” had he been selling Eiffel a car he would have already been halfway down the highway by now.

“I'm not going to sleep with you” Jacobi rolled his eyes as dramatically as possible and then picked up his tools again.

“Of course.  Whatever you say”

“I'm really not”

“Mhmm”

“Dammit, why the hell would I sleep with you?”

“Because I am  _ exceptionally _ good with my hands” and just like that the inactivated broken red light above the terminal switched to green and a low humming began to buzz through the station wall as it all came back online.

“Show off” Eiffel scoffed, taking his leave straight out the door, not looking back to see Jacobi watch him go.  He looked at his watch, placing a personal bet on when he would expect the man at his quarters.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 22:56 when there was a knock at Jacobi's door.  He sat up on his bed, shirtless with a pair of sweatpants that did wonders for keeping out the chill of the station.  Jacobi gave a silent praise to Eiffel for holding out so long as he opened up the door.  The communications officer stood there, red in the face but not in full uniform at least, just a T-shirt and gym shorts like he had gotten ready for bed with every intention of going to it.

“And another thing, you being the creepy evil version of me doesn't make you some suave motherfucker”

“Care to come in?” Jacobi stepped aside so Eiffel could take one in.  He still half fluttered about the doorway so Jacobi had to physically move him inside so he could shut the door behind him.

“I know you've got some weird messed up shit with your boss-”

“I'd rather not talk about him right now”

“Uh huh, of course, I'm as sure of that as I am that this isn't some twisted broke back space mountain”

“There's really nothing between us” he sighs, taking a step closer to the other man, backing him up against the wall.

“I'm not here to sleep with you, Jacobi”

“Mhmm” he leans in and presses their lips together like it was a casual affair.  He pulls back after a second, waiting a moment to see what Eiffel would do and then going in for another.  He kisses him longer now before again pulling back and waiting for a response.  None.  He steps in closer and presses himself against him, kissing with a soft rhythm and dashing his tongue against his lower lip.

Eiffel takes a long breath in and out through his nose, setting aside his resolve wordlessly and tentatively moving his hands up onto Jacobi's sides.  Fingers trying not to dig into his skin as his heart quickens and head goes fuzzy as he begins kissing him back.  It has been a long time since he was this close to another human being, and an even longer time since he was this  _ physical _ with someone.

With Eiffel cooperating, Jacobi experiments with running his hand up over the officer's chest and gripping his shoulder.  He's putting their legs closer together, trying not to make it seem like he's forcing friction between them but definitely encouraging it all the same.

It gets less innocent between them as they both began to get excited.  Hands travel, hair gets pulled, nails on skin leave welts in their wake.  Jacobi has to break the kiss to catch his breath and is instead given an idea of Eiffel's willingness by the sucking on his neck and nips at his collar.  He begins to feel very low on patience and moves away from Eiffel, closer towards the bed.  He sits down on the edge and tugs the communications officer down to straddle his lap.  The momentary lapse of contact seems to give Eiffel the idea that he should say something, because of course shutting up was  _ never  _ an option, but then Jacobi rolls his hips against him and that idea flies out the window.

They kiss until it hurts, and then Eiffel loses his shirt and they kiss again.  The momentum between them is infuriating and delicious, but Eiffel wasn't complaining when Jacobi tossed him down onto the bed and settled between his legs.  Eiffel had been blessed with a fair amount of college experiences so he knew what to expect from his shorts being tugged down and the man's parted lips diving between his thighs, but  _ God  _ had he forgotten just how good it was.

Jacobi slowly enveloped him in his mouth, pushing down as far as he could take him, throwing foreplay to the wind.  Eiffel pulled one of his arms over his face and breathed out slowly, trying to keep himself together as Jacobi dragged his mouth off, the suction increasing by the inch.  Back down and pulling up with a hard suck again, Jacobi listened intently on the increasingly heavy breaths and barely restrained groans, the sound getting him achingly hard.

He leans up on his elbows and crawls up to lie level with the officer.  Eiffel immediately takes him into an open kiss, on of his hands running down into Jacobi's pants.  Two hard strokes and then he's gripping Eiffel's shoulder, head tucked along his shoulder, warm breath collecting as moisture on his skin.

“You know you can fuck me, right?” Eiffel freezes up a moment caught off guard.

“I don't want to-” he protests without any conviction, only excitement imbedded through his voice.

“Yes you do” Jacobi grinds his hips against him, hard.  Eiffel pulls at his hair, gritting his teeth.  “It's okay, I want you to fuck me too” and with that Eiffel is rolling him over, ridding him of his pants in a heartbeat.   His fingers enter his mouth briefly before pressing against his entrance and sliding through relatively easy, already finding it relatively slick. Eiffel shot him a questioning gaze that made Jacobi laugh.

“What can I say, I was expecting you”

“I didn't come here to-”

“Are you  _ kidding _ me?  Will you just drop that and accept that you want me?” Jacobi thinks maybe he crossed a line because Eiffel completely stops, fingers still inside him.  When he brings his gaze back up there's something unapologetically dark that makes Jacobi swallow dryly, feeling a tad intimidated by the sudden drop in demeanor of malleable communications officer.

Eiffel looms over him, hand planted beside his head holding his torso up, other hand beginning to slowly push in all the way to the knuckle.

“ _ Want you? _ ” He laughs but it's so deep and seedy that Jacobi is unconsciously trying to shrink away, only finding nowhere to go.  “What I  _ want _ is to watch you bite this mattress to keep from screaming” he quickly pushes his fingers all the way inside and removes them just as quickly, getting a body wide flinch out of the other man.  “I expect to get what I want” Jacobi noticed the fingers leave him and took a deep breath as he felt something much thicker push against him.  Eiffel pushed himself in mercilessly fast, causing the other man to dig his nails into his back and pull them down as he was filled faster and harder than he expected.

Eiffel reached down and wrapped his hand around his cock.

“Think you're ready to cooperate?”

“Y-  _ ah fuck _ ” Jacobi bit his tongue as well as his words when Eiffel pulled back and snapped his hips forwards.  It wasn't long till the bed was creaking beneath them and whatever reservations either of them had were long gone and forgotten.  Eiffel puts his teeth to Jacobi's collar, clearly wanting to bruise him but restraining a bit and instead releasing his frustration with the ruthless pace that's got them both slick with sweat and halfway to hyperventilating.

“Do it”Jacobi pants, even leaning his neck back for him to have more space to work with.  Eiffel doesn't wait to be told twice and sets about marking him.  The intimacy of the contact, and the fact that it had very well been  _ years _ since he even got close to someone, has him losing control faster than he'd like.

He starts to pull out, only to find Jacobi lacing an arm around his back and keeping him in place.  Well, yet again Eiffel wasn't in the mood to say no.  He grabbed the Jacobi by the hair and pulled his neck back to lick a stripe up to his ear as he shuddered, the orgasm running through his body like a live wire.  Jacobi could feel the pulsing deep inside of him, along with a newfound wetness that didn't leave even when Eiffel pulled himself out.

“Don't worry about it” Jacobi said before Eiffel could even vocalize his offer as he realized he hadn't finished along with him, “I think I'd rather ask you a question or two” Eiffel's face glows red, the heat of the situation dissipating an leaving only the realization of what he did and said.

“Oh uh, yeah sorry, that happens sometimes”

“Believe me, sorry is the opposite of what you should be saying” he got a laugh out of the other man at this.  He seemed to have finally opened up more or less, or maybe just sort of accepted that Jacobi was going to peel a conversation out of him one way or another.

“Sorry for yelling at you earlier” he muttered awkwardly, looking around for his clothes in the dim light.

“Try saying sorry for telling me I want to sleep with my boss, a guy can only take so many traumatic thoughts in one day”

“Ha, yeah I guess that would be kind of horrific now that I think about it”

“You have no idea”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I firmly believe that Eiffel has a sexual dark side? I'd bet my life on it.


	3. Chapter 3

“Is there something you need or are you just here to waste my time?” Kepler sighed, sitting behind the desk in his makeshift office, Jacobi standing in the doorway of said room.

“I slept with officer Eiffel” there's a solid second where nothing in the universe happens, and then Kepler puts his pen down and Jacobi's pulse bounds out of his chest.  He leans back in his chair, looking his second in command up and down, a cold and critical lense about him.

“No you didn't” he scoffs, trying to call a bluff.  Jacobi takes a step into the room and shuts the door behind him.  Then he peels off his shirt, revealing the marks from moments before.  There's a vein of irritation that creeps onto Kepler's otherwise stoic face.  It grows into a full blown narrowing of his eyebrows as he stares him down.  “That looks more like a painful experience with a terminal” Jacobi decides to call his bluff again and strolls over, casually sitting on the edge of his desk and swinging himself around to have legs spread to either side of him, hands propping him up as he lounged there.  Kepler puts his hands down on either side of him, extreme care put into avoiding actually touching him as he stands up, body looming close to him now.

Jacobi can tell the exact moment Kepler places the smell on him and identifies it as the officer in question.  He can tell because it's the same moment that rage overtakes his eyes.  Within seconds there's a hand at his throat, shoving him down onto his back on the desk.  Both his hands go to grabbing his wrist, keeping it from crushing him even though Kepler was far from doing so.  He wouldn't  _ actually _ kill him, Jacobi figured he wouldn't bother doing it in his office at least.

“Why the  _ hell  _ did you decide to fuck that imbecile?” He growled, looking like he wanted to rip his throat out with his bare teeth.

“Oh I don't know, could have been ‘even the dumbest member of their team is more competent than you right now’ or ‘give Eiffel a middle school chemistry class and I may have just found your replacement’ oh and my personal favorite, ‘you think other people would actually sleep with you?’” Jacobi spat, recalling just the tip of the iceberg on all the things he's been boiling on.  Kepler blinks, as if for the first time realizing Jacobi wasn't just immune to what he said through blind swooning.

“You're jealous”

“And now so are you” Kepler took a minute to hold off his anger, just to sort out what he was hearing.

“Have you been planning this?”

“I thought about doing it, just in theory.  But then you went and decided to remind me how useless I was, approximately five minutes after our  _ time _ in the observation deck, and I decided I may as well go through with it.  Show some initiative and all that” Jacobi flashed a smile full of venom, not bothering to hide the enthusiastic barb in his voice.

“That was only four days ago”

“And it only took you four days to give us a work detail alone together.  Shocking how things just work out, huh”

“You are going to regret this,  _ severely _ ” Kepler took his hand off his throat and instead, grabbed both of Jacobi's wrists and pinned them above his head, just bordering the edge of the desk.  Jacobi complied easily, even spreading his legs so his boss could stand up and get very personal as he loomed over him.

“See, I thought so too.  I mean, your favorite plaything boldly walking over here covered in sex bruises and full of someone else's cum?  Seems like a suicide recipe, right?” Kepler's eyes widened, not believing the extent to which his second in command had gone.  “Oh yeah, condom?  Didn't happen.  Also before you ask, yeah, he was pretty damn good, also we had him pegged  _ all _ wrong, talk about hidden surprises, yikes” Kepler really just wanted him to shut up already, knowing that this was all stroking the other man's ego too much.  He didn't kiss often, but when he did it was never gentle, and this time was no exception.  Especially because he could taste the other  _ other _ man, which did not do wonders for his anger management.  Jacobi eagerly returned his advances, having gone too long without the proper attention he felt he deserved.

“Here's what you're going to do” Kepler began, breaking the kiss but not backing away from him at all, “You're going to go to my shower and get every  _ inch _ of him off you, then you'll present yourself and we'll have a chat about your performance” he released him and pushed himself off, settling back down into his chair.  Jacobi leaned back up, an unsatisfied hunger still rippling off him.  “If you really plan on whoring yourself out every time you get upset, I think we may need to address some issues with your conflict management”

“Hmm, you might be right, if I wasn't a genius” Jacobi grins, the kind of shit eating smirk that brings a boil to Kepler's chest.  “See, if I walk out of here, chances are more than likely I'll just go back to my bunk, and then if work is the same way it's been going it'll be  _ weeks _ before we get another chance to be alone.  So that puts you into a sticky situation, letting me either go without any kind of punishment for sleeping with the enemy, or fucking me here in a very rough and jealous fashion” he slides off the desk and inches his way closer to Kepler, still leaning back in barely contained disdain and enragement.

“Or I could tie you down in my bunk and wait for you to beg me for attention” he watched but didn't protest as Jacobi slid down into his lap, legs on either side of the chair, getting very,  _ very _ , close to the man trying to deny his own resolve against sleeping with him.

“You don't have to tie me up to hear me beg” he whispered, Kepler’s hands automatically finding their way onto the other man's hips out of reflex.  “Do you know how hard it is  _ not _ to finish when you get a guy who is dead set against fucking later trying to break your bed apart?”

“I can fathom the idea.  Surprised you were actually able to control yourself for once in your life”

“Well, it's a little hard to pretend it's you when I know you're just a few dozen feet away” now Kepler can't help but dig his fingers into Jacobi’s hips, pulling him close and hard against him.  The angry boil in his chest hasn't dissipated, but he was slowly being swayed into taking out his frustration in a more immediate way.  He can see all the marks on Jacobi’s neck and the slight bruises on his torso, it makes him want to wipe it all away and make his own marks twice as dark.  The thought that someone else had put their hands all over something Kepler considered to more or less belong to solely  _ his _ , was driving him insane like an itch he was trying not to scratch.

“You are going to regret this” Kepler's breath shuddered as he grabbed him roughly through his pants with one hand and pulled his hair back with the other, mouth meeting his neck not more than second after the last syllable.  Jacobi snapped his eyes shut and laced his arms around the other man's neck, a spur of endorphins hitting his blood like a drug.

“No I'm not”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the real motive comes out. Although since it's tagged I can't see this coming as a surprise to anyone. Regardless, it just serves to prove I am incapable of writing anything other than this stupid pairing. Thank you for reading, hope it was a very endorphin filled experience.


End file.
